A Journey to Pursue my Best, Most Authentic Self: Initiated From a Run

Running has changed my life for the better.

It has provided me opportunities to challenge myself, analyze my thoughts, and learn about myself. Running is one of my main tools to pursue my best, most authentic self.

But let me take a step back and walk you through how I got into running in the first place.

I grew up playing a variety of sports, but I played soccer the most. As you know, soccer requires a lot of running unless you are the goalie, and I was not, as I was too short and afraid of incoming speeding rockets, called shots on goal.

I hated running. I loathed, complained, and dragged my feet if we ran in practice. Even during warmups. During practice, we would run laps, do shuttle runs, Indian runs, sprints, or whatever running exercise our coach concocted. You name it, we did it.

Running always felt terrible and I found it difficult. The only time I enjoyed running was during games as running was just part of sport. During games, I was the kid who always had their hands at their waists or behind their head, desperately trying to catch my breath.

At the time, I thought of running as something that just sucks. All my friends believed this and so did the coaches. I wasn’t surrounded by anyone who actually enjoyed running. This realization wouldn’t come until much later.

Years later, in 2020, at the start of the COVID-19 pandemic, my mental state was at an all-time low. I was finishing up my senior year of college, which suddenly went from a fun on-campus experience to all students having to go home to finish the semester remotely. I also had to shift to a long-distance relationship with my girlfriend at the time (now my fiancée). And to top it off, I didn’t land a post-graduate, big-boy job yet. There was a lot of pressure from classmates, friends, professors, and my parents to secure a job before graduating.

This cocktail of a situation laid heavily on my mind and brought me down and deep into a state of worry, uncertainty, and sadness.

I graduated (with exceptional grades) but still did not have a job secured. Hundreds of applications later, I was still out of luck. My self-confidence was at an all-time low.

However, one morning I was scrolling on Instagram and saw a video of David Goggins, running and yelling motivational wisdoms. I clicked on his profile and watched some more of his videos. I felt motivation, optimism, and a sense that there was indeed a path forward for myself. Now, I know short videos provide quick motivation that often doesn’t last, but this motivation was enough to spark a whole different trajectory than the path I was on, and I’m grateful for it.

I decided I would go for a run. I haven’t run in a while, but David was running in many of his videos. Upon further research, I learned that David was an amazing endurance athlete who had done incredible physical and mental feats. I thought, well, let me give this running thing a try, with a new perspective - to challenge myself and seek a purpose.

My first run hurt. It was about 2 miles. My lungs were burning, and I was out of breath. Looking back now, I know that I ran way too hard, especially for my first run.

Even though it hurt, I continued to run every morning that summer of 2020, and slowly began to love it and improve my endurance. As I got more comfortable, I began to realize that while I was running my mind was clear, I felt present, and at peace. These runs began to be therapy sessions for me to look inwards, ask myself how I’m feeling, and analyze my thoughts.

My mood, energy, and overall quality of life improved from these runs. I even landed a job. Although, I'm not attributing that to running (but who knows, maybe I should).

Since then, I never stopped running. I found mental clarity and strength from it, but I also wanted to see what I was capable of. David Goggins’ incredible feats never left my mind. I’ve always been a person that pursued my best, no matter what I was doing or interested in at the time.

Ever since I could remember, I’ve been persistent on becoming the best I can be at a given skill or activity.

For instance, in fourth grade I tried out for a juggling show and did not make it because I couldn’t juggle three balls 20 times in a row. I felt that I failed, and a feeling inside of me erupted. All I could think about was that I was going to make the juggling show the following year. To ensure this, I practiced juggling three balls every day and by the following year, I was one of the best jugglers and made it into the show.

I brought this trait into running. I signed up for a marathon (my first running race ever) with a friend who randomly asked me if I wanted to do it. I saw this as an opportunity to challenge myself, and I couldn’t say no.

Training for and running that marathon was an eye-opening experience. I learned about training principles, tactics, and nutrition. But the biggest lesson I learned was that, before the marathon, I was listening to self-imposed and societal-imposed limitations. I always heard that running marathons was impossible. Yet people do them! I never felt prouder and more confident in myself than I felt after crossing that finish line. My self-imposed limits were destroyed. I gained self-respect and confidence that I could achieve anything I desired and prepared for.

I wanted to see what else I’m capable of (I continue to pursue this, and I don’t think I will ever stop). After the marathon, I completed a 70.3 Ironman, a 140.6 Ironman, three ultra marathons, and several other running and cycling endeavors.

These experiences have been challenges for me to push my limits, learn more about myself, and continue to pursue my best, most authentic self. My greatest lessons have been found during these races when I’m undergoing intense suffering and hardship. I’ve become a better person from participating and training for these races. I understand myself, other people, and the world better. I’m kinder, more prepared, and more resilient.

I may have never stumbled down this path if I never went for that first run in 2020.

Running initiated a new, better path for me.

I don’t think I will ever stop running.